I know, it’s not a boat, it’s a ship but ‘The Boat’ as a title sounds more ominous and that is the vibe I am after. I’ve nicked it from somewhere but can’t remember where. I am in a very nice cabin with the dogs which is very civilised; they have their own dog toilet on Deck 7 made of a large wooden box and sand – it’s surprisingly sweet considering it is full of wee and poo.

I am also among a handful of passengers who aren’t delivering cargo to Finland.  I shall in fact be relieving Finland of as much Moomin merchandise as I can squeeze into the space in the van which has been vacated by dog food as it gets eaten. Maybe even more.

Kitty has special extra space around her (because I’m a delicate flower and so is she) and they were very sweet helping me park ( I just tried to spell manoeuvre several times and each time it added an accent to the e – I told you, strange things happen on boats [I know!] like this).

The drive to the port is dodgy to say the least. It is not the least bit Swedish. Missing lane markings (which are helpful when a massive truck believes there are two lanes and you think just one – I used my horn several times to no avail then just breathed in), rough surface and many unhelpfully positioned warning signs (in the tiny lanes, not to the side) and no barrier between the oncoming traffic when you are driving on their side! Am I more Swedish than the Swedish now? It could almost be described as ‘chaos’.

Anyway, this was a case where one should judge the port by the road leading up to it. It is confusing and full of intimidating lorries driven by non-intimidating humans called ‘Anton’ (I didn’t introduce myself, the truck parked near Kitty has a sign in). Also, I am sure they are not all called Anton, but you catch my drift. I think this is the kind of location where they’ve filmed many scenes of the Scandi crime dramas I love so much. You could just get lost between the car deck and the cabins, be easily and casually shoved overboard on the lonely decks. It’s not a bit like the ‘shopping centre on sea’ that was Stenaline on our way across to Holland. I like it.

I have already mistaken one extremely blond Finnish man for another, assuming in this context that he worked both the bar and the reception desk on the 7th Deck. They are in fact two people. It’s fascinating. They both also look like Boris Johnson.

Everyone speaks with a different accent so none of us really understand one another. It is a long time since I have been to Finland (16 years to be precise) and it is all coming back to me now. I asked for the vegetarian hot food option at the buffet (their salad array was impressive, I will give them that) and was told for special food I should have ordered in advance. I started to say something, then stopped. I’m learning. Slowly but surely. Pudding was chocolate ice-cream cake thing or chocolate mousse, served in big bowls like you might find at a family Christmas spread. I find this intriguing.

Other pieces of my day to follow. I’ll leave you at sea and on Finnish time for now.

Over and out x