So, Helen Russell managed a year, navigating the British/Danish culture clash that I never really believed existed until now; so cosmopolitan and lovely are my Danish friends. I read her book and loved it although I thought she was exaggerating a little, maybe she was a little over the top. Then I tried to holiday here. Now I understand.

So after a strong start to the day after a cold night which we ill-prepared for, managing to strap the boards to the solid roof bar (which really was no fun at all) and feeling quite proud of myself as I said a cheery goodbye to the nice German lady next door, I was hurled into ludicrous amounts of traffic on my way West.

I failed for the second time this week to order a small latte and a donut at Swedish McDonalds using their online system (I know, I’m very embarrassed) but this failure was offset by a nice couple asking to photograph the van. I presume they now have a photo of a nice pink van with a woman in it drinking coffee, very much an ‘action’ shot.

THE BRIDGE was amazing this morning. The sun shimmering on the water, boat sails in view in the Oresund and an island of windmills to my left – was about all I managed to safely absorb while driving – I did note that the ‘sexy’ end of the bridge (the big pillars) is in Sweden and (I missed this rather obvious point last time) it is actually part bridge/part tunnel.

From the Swedish end it looks like the bridge just ends, before dry land – which was alarming at first until I remembered. I also couldn’t help but think that Saga and Henrik must have bought a season ticket of sorts as at c. £40 per crossing, I just can’t see police budgets being able to handle the amount of to-ing and fro-ing in the series 😀

I then had more special bridges on my journey today. The Great Belt Fixed Link or Storebæltsbroen. It is two bridges (East and West) and it was not only the biggest construction project in Danish history but it is the longest bridge outside of Asia AND was only finished in 1998. Life before then, cut off from the other side, must have been quite different and might explain some of the quirks of Danish life? Again, the scenery around the bridges was beautiful with an Island in the middle with its own lighthouse. I even spotted a couple on the beach, it was quite surreal. Needless to say (as I have talked about wind so much over the last few days) my paws were firmly gripping the wheel, particularly as we passed the main pillars where the wind rush was the most dramatic.

The motorway which these bridges form part of, was very busy today (for reasons I cannot explain), and full of what I refer to as ‘tightrope-walking for cars’ or roadworks where they just don’t give you enough lane space and a cough at the wrong time could have you on the other side of the road; so when I hit the country roads I was delighted, until a car overtaking 4 others appeared to be heading directly for me :0 .

That was definitely the second of my nine lives (the first being my current narrow non-driving related escape earlier this year for clarity) and it knocked me for six. It does actually distress me greatly that people think so little when overtaking. He could have killed the lot of us. Happily, he made it in time, I had a grass verge and a horn (and no dyke or ravine next to me) to utilise and all was well. When I arrived at the campsite I had booked, I was done in. They then told me that dogs can’t go into any of the places to eat on site. I lost it. I know rain is forecast.

I checked this weeks ago with all the campsites and this one in particular. I don’t want to leave the dogs in the van and frankly, I like their company of an evening and the reason I had headed to this site was that it had lots of options so I could have a proper relax for a few days with no cooking and some healthy food. Dull though the detail of this is, it mattered to me.

They informed me that it is the law in Denmark that dogs aren’t allowed in restaurants and that everyone knows this but also suggested that I walk over to the restaurants to ask them (rather than, as she then did, phoning her colleagues to check) – this is where my story could have been lifted from Helen Russell’s! I explained that as this is a Danish rule perhaps they should mention it on their website or when I asked  in an email weeks before ‘ where can I walk with my dogs’ don’t just reply ‘ they can go anywhere on site as long as you clean up after them’ as that might be a little misleading.

For those of you rolling your eyes, holidaying with dogs is a bold choice but it does mean you actually want to holiday with them. Also, I have no issue with rules as long as someone tells me before it is too late! I decided not to stay but not before I finally burst into tears. I had nearly been in a head-on collision five minutes before and had a long yet happy drive to see them and having to argue in German with the manager (she didn’t speak English) tipped me over the edge into wobblebville. It was long overdue.

Anyway, after an hour or so decorating their car park with the van and googling frantically we found somewhere pet friendly to sleep for the night (I was beyond setting up camp by then) and will rethink the plan tomorrow. I like the use of we. I did the googling and driving. They just sat around.

Either braving Legoland and a few sights or zooming into dog friendly Germany ASAP are my main options.

Not sure how dangerous more Denmark could be yet though.

I tried to buy a pizza just before getting into bed. I looked at his menu, picked an ingredient (ananas) and asked for a pizza with ananas. I paid, I waited. When it arrived it was covered in what I thought were onions (it was ham) so I asked him. He them motioned to the menu telling me I had ordered this ‘ananas’ pizza just like this. There was a Hawaiian pizza listed (which was we all know has ham and pineapple) but it wasn’t called ananas. He asked what was wrong with this one, I said I could not eat it as I was a vegetarian. Then I said nevermind, I will pay for another one (I was so hungry and so tired by now), he asked me for the number of what I wanted so I kept it simple…0 (margerita) plus pineapple (ananas) – I pointed at the pineapple. ‘Oh now you tell me you want this!’ I repeated the order, repeated the fact I would pay a second time for the pizza and then he had a third go at me for ordering wrongly. I couldn’t take any more and left. I resorted to surreptitiously eating Alpen from my van – which is probably also illegal over here and am now going to try sleep which is probably legal. I cannot explain what it is here but Helen nailed it. Now to work with it without going nuts, I don’t have a year to get this to work :D.

The 48 hours is the total of my Danish time to date, it refers back also to my encounter with the first Danish campsite on the start of the journey in Nysted when he told me I was too late and kept telling me off further as though my sorry-ness would make time turn back. Then he had told me that all the hotels were full (and the one next door took us in within 10 minutes). Oh and a woman in Copenhagen last Sunday was about to challenge my parking until she saw my perfectly valid badge. A close call from a telling off there too.

Right, time to try sleep in our very clean but slightly odd home for the night. All suggestions for tomorrow welcome.

Map updated…I will be hiring a navigator next time, I can’t be trusted to make a realistic plan but I do get where I am supposed to be in the end 🙂