I’ve drafted the blog several times today and at the start of the day it was really quite depressing and not particularly uplifting. I’m not in the business of masking feelings as you will be well aware however, I am in the business of trying to transmit positive energy as much as possible. This doesn’t always have to be happy positive energy but it does have to be constructive.

Needless to say I ditched the earlier drafts, put the fire on and left it awhile. When your armpits no longer smell you do get a bit reckless, and I’m going to confess that I’m probably about a month too early with the lighting of the fire and I would guess that it least half of the village, smelling wood in the 22 degree air will have tutted today or just looked confused. As I’m used to being told off often these days, this is not a concern. Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson I will not be in a hurry to light the next fire. For anyone who doesn’t know what my house looks like, I have a wood burner, I’m not busy burning loose branches in the garden.

Anyway, I digress. Fire suitably lit, I had a quick chat with my sister who was on a windy beach, did a face mask and read a few pages of Rebecca Solnit’s ‘ A Field Guide to Getting Lost’. Within seconds of reading, I felt much better. I must clarify immediately that this book will never help you if you are lost in any location (mountain, lift, car park, city) and in danger, however, it appears to be an interesting read.

Apparently we’re all supposed to be lost frustrated confused and I presume very tired, so I felt much better about my own lot. If fact it made me want to go out and get lost somewhere, but not enough that I actually wanted to get dressed and action this. I will table it for a future day when less lethargic.

It might surprise you to learn that I’m ending the day by trying to make some banana bread in my breadmaker and I’ve never tried to do this before so it is slightly at odds with my otherwise lethargic state. I find it fascinating. The use of the breadmaker to make the bread, is simply reassuring.

For those of you with children, this point, if you haven’t reached already over recent weeks, is the point at which you may roll your eyes at the amount of time I seem to have to assess my mental state in the course of any given day due to lack of any other pressing demands on my time. Indulge me.

Anyway, feeling more positive, I started to think about tiredness. As you do.

As a rule we are generally irritated by other people telling us they are tired, the reason being we are also usually tired and there is a certain status attached to being tired. You have to be busy, important, unwell or just have too much to do in order to be tired. Amazingly the fact is that anyone can be tired, even those without a schedule, job, children or other worries.

I realised that some of my Instagram posts earlier today while focusing on my cancer fatigue, were trying to own tiredness for the day. That just doesn’t work does it. You’re tired, I’m tired and to be honest we are all in very gentle competition with one another to be the most tired.

Interestingly some of the people who should be the most tired for example the Prime Minister, are always at pains to emphasise that they are not tired when they must be knackered. So for some being tired signifies importance and being in demand and for others it’s a sign of weakness. Weird.

In the former group, which is most normal people and a few celebrities reminding us they are also normal people, being ‘the most tired’, excuses a person from lots and lots of things while just being one of many tired people unfortunately just makes life much harder. ‘I can no longer see my hands’ levels of tiredness, is just miserable and frankly, no-one cares. Except me.

I don’t think it’s a generational thing either, I remember my mum always complaining about being tired when she came home from work. Tiredness is a timeless problem but maybe talking about it so much isn’t. And it intrigues me.

I do think a TV show in which people compete to see who is the most tired would be hilarious. Someone coming off a double shift, competing with Victoria Beckham (jetlagged from too many trips to and from LA) and a new parent who is unable to establish any kind of sleep pattern for a set of twins; throw in a patient undergoing chemotherapy pumped up with steroids, someone who always works nights, some pilots and the Prime Minister I think you’ve got a cracker of a show. I think Fearne Cotton is always very tired as well so we could include her. People could be set simple tasks such as walking in a straight line, remembering a list, remembering names, navigating through a complex maze, making cupcakes. Contestants brag about sleep deprivation and we vote for our favourites.

I’m happy to host but I’m not sure I’m famous enough. Someone like Chris Evans should be tired given his schedule but never seems tired, what gives? Maybe he’s in the second category. He could host. Holly Willoughby always seems spritely, she might be game.

Let’s give it some thought.

I’ll leave you with this. Whenever I think of the Prime Minister being tired, I think of how busy the Prime Minister must be and it reminds me of my Dad. He must’ve had a particularly busy week (he was a ladies’ hairdresser) and I was a student at the time. He told me he was busier than Tony Blair, who was Prime Minister then and a particularly busy one as I recall. I told Dad he was being ridiculous and then that under no circumstances was he busier than Tony Blair. My Dad started to get cross. He was serious. It was an hilarious argument and we never resolved it; he still insisted he was the busiest and I couldn’t stop laughing. I was of course, unable to prove him wrong. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

So in some circles being tired is a status symbol, in a circus it’s a hazard (I used auto-correct to add some sparkle there) and in other circles it makes you look incompetent.

I did see Boris yawn in that TV clip from the cricket though earlier. Maybe I’ll talk to his agent, he’d make a great contestant…