So it’s a bold statement saying that from now on I’m only going to be channelling positive energy, but after four days of quite low energy, during which time I have allowed myself to dwell a little too much on some of the bad things that are happening to me and the people around me, it feels necessary. I can assure you that I am trying very hard. I have to practice what I preach, take a deep breath, expect little and move one step at a time.

Throwing myself out there with silly instagram posts, might seem frivolous but it is really helpful in reducing my feelings of isolation; in building my confidence. I can’t emphasise enough how disconnected one feels after having had cancer to this degree. This is why so many of us blog! The flip side is that as soon as it is out there, I worry that it’s too open, I’ve exposed myself too much. It’s a very hard balance to strike.

I know it’s worse for others but trying to reintegrate when your priorities are so different, is hard. I don’t want to go back to where I was. I need to move forward based on what I have learned and experienced but not everyone has been on this ‘training programme’ and even I don’t really know what I’m doing!

I don’t know where to start so I will have to start somewhere, I got myself very lost over these last few days and don’t want to feel like that again.

I rarely start to read a tricky book before bed. In this case I was right to be cautious because I slept terribly (there I go, bragging about sleeplessness again 😉 ), coming up with other book ideas (God, help us!) and all sorts of nonsense.

However reading the book – Anti-cancer by Dr David Servan-Schreiber – or rather skipping through it to the key points and reviewing some of the research, was fascinating. When I posted on Instagram this morning, I was going to share his wisdom with you – how many cups of Green Tea, how much laughter, how little sugar.

Only then, this morning while finding the link to his website, I learned he had died not long after publishing the edition I was reading, so how do I interpret that? He was diagnosed at age 31 with brain cancer and died after a recurrence in 2011 after 20 years of living with/without the disease. Does that invalidate what he has said? Sort of.

He didn’t have a miracle cure (obviously) nor a miracle prevention process. On the one hand, his book should be relegated to the recycling pile but on the other he made some good points. No book will give you the answer (if it did, we would all be living that way already!) but all books or blogs give you someone’s experience and at least something to take away.

With all of these pieces of work, work that has given someone focus and purpose at a difficult time, the key is to find elements which make sense to you, to squeeze out the helpful stuff, acknowledge the facts and then consider how it works for you. When you’ve had cancer you’re either straight back to your old life or you are seeking advice, some key thoughts to help build your new normal.

For me, it is clear that the way we live in the West has significantly contributed to the incidence of cancer over time, making it more common, at earlier ages. However, the statistics in this book don’t take account of recording errors in poorer countries nor do they make clear if we are comparing like for like nor are other factors controlled for. I can’t tell you how much would have happened anyway (it is not all environment) nor how much is external rather than internal factors. As we all know, statistics can say whatever we want them to say.

Based on anecdotal evidence, I would, however, agree that since the last great war in this country, our diets have taken a turn for the worst with very measurable negative consequences. Eating a balanced, moderate diet is good for everyone but it won’t stop you contracting a more serious illness unfortunately, despite what people might insist. There’s certainly no sense worrying about it.

So, we all know that being healthier is a good thing and I’m not going to tell you how to do it, you will make your own choices, but what about what goes on in our heads?

Over the last few days, I have had strong feelings of isolation, hopelessness (at not being able to fix other people or myself) and despair (is this really what life is like). These feelings were unpleasant but not unexpected. However, they don’t help anyone. Whether your brain can impact your body in the way some authors insist it can (I’m only half convinced) is not the point.

Your mood impacts you.

It impacts how you feel every day and whether you feel happy to be alive or afraid to get out of bed. It also impacts those around you, as we are as easily infected with good humour as much as we are bad.

The Moomins are the best role models, partly because they don’t exist and so my assertions cannot in any way be verified and because quite frankly they offer the best example of how to live and they really do seem to manage to do everything in beautiful moderation apart from laugh and have fun which they do to excess (this is a good thing).

They don’t stress (much) when something unusual happens to them (often), they are intrigued by it and they try and adapt to suit the situation (perhaps what the Doctor was trying to do in his book above) and they certainly don’t flap about it. They take a deep breath and prepare themselves for what might be to come. Then they learn from it and move on.

They are the happiest most generous creatures that I think I’ve ever encountered, and their way of life is replicable. They are active and always moving forward; they love one another but allow each other freedom to move. They hug a lot.

So, this was supposed to be a prescriptive post, helping you all avoid getting cancer but apparently, even the cleverest of Doctors can’t get that right so I can’t do that. Sorry.

It is instead some kind of plea for more kindness again. I can’t fix life. I can’t prevent the bad bits but I’m trying my best to shoot as much pink sparkly stuff out there to help make it all a bit easier. I won’t always get it right, but I’ll try. I might be in pyjamas more often than not.

Be gentle; some of us are pretty fragile at the moment. Channel love and positive energy the moment you feel it, as it multiplies and can travel great distances before you know it and that helps those whose ‘good mood generators’ are low on fuel.